Things are pretty serious right now, which is why we could all use a little ‘stupid’ in our lives. Audio Pro, if you’re looking for stupid, you’ve come to the right place.
Over the years, we’ve covered the vinyl revival with glee because we love the format, but also because every so often, someone comes up with a wacky variation that uses material that should never have been used to preserve and transmit audio. We’ve written about playable records made out of chocolate, ice, wood, concrete, and even an Edison cylinder made out of a beer bottle.
Now the UK arm of high-end soap store chain Lush has come up with a playable record made out of yet another oddball material, and this one is ideally suited to our times: A 7-inch record made of soap that plays “Happy Birthday.”
Given the current horrific spread of COVID-19, one of the most basic and effective ways to fight back is to wash your hands often as possible. The rule of thumb is to scrub thoroughly for 20 seconds—or, as has been popularly noted around the world, roughly the time it takes to sing “Happy Birthday” twice.
The fragrance used in the soap record is a candy bubblegum-esque scent called Snow Fairy, and it supposedly has a moisturizing rapeseed oil base so your hands don’t dry out from getting washed so much. Reportedly the manufacturing process is relatively the same as any other analog record—the rendition was cut to a lacquer, which was then used to make metal stampers, and those in turn are used to stamp a soap base that’s poured on to them.
Lush’s new record would surely be a hit for its performers, Mira Manga and Rhodri Marsden, but it’s only available at the company’s store in Liverpool, UK, which is currently closed at this writing due to the virus. As it stands, reportedly you can only play the record twice before the soap is rendered inaudible. We can only guess what your turntable’s $500 diamond-tipped needle looks like after two spins anyway.